Angry? Sex and politics got your tongue? Given cramp by the key
Proposals of the major parties? Want to mutilate someone intimately?
Slice-with-rage.com is the site for you. Here we have links
To all forms of malicious bloodletting perpetrated by, on behalf of and,
Most pleasurably,
Against
Politicians of all races, genders and faiths.
I particularly recommend “Insert that skewer, Gabriel” – both the original
Album track and the 45 rpm re-mix; each, in its distinctive way,
Celebrating fury against private parts with a view to public
Ownership. Which particular politicians? Which particular
Weltanschung, Walter? Socialism: national
Or the left-cheek kind? Conservatism with a small sea?
Or might you be contemplating a voyage to Liberalism, Cap’n?
There are so many diseases, nurse, I fear my time is not long; so:
In keeping with the urgency, and bearing in mind this crunch,
Might I buy you lunch – with the expectation of a late afternoon
Not wasted in that hotel with a picture of a horse
Where the receptionist should be? Yes, Mrs Malteaser,
I am talking about sex. Do I need to spell it out any plainer?
Me: chappy. You: bint.
Mine’s a chop with a sprig of mint.
I speak of men who have not left a print
Beside themselves, a twittering in the trees, a bird in the breeze,
A flood between the knees – men
Who, when roughness comes to coarseness,
Err on the side of steel wool.
In Finland, they embalm their politicians with vodka. In the Philippines,
They strangle them with shoe laces if they offend.
In the Seychelles, they are not sure what to do because there are so many
Other things to do – surfing, deep-sea diving, fellatio
And cooking.
In Germany, they make their politicians pay
By neglecting them.
But in the United States, they punish them
By electing them.
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