Another Old Compleynt

“Too much information,”

She said and ended the conversation. 

He heard a click

But continued to detail his symptoms:

“Things like this happen to aging bottoms.

It’s not really a question of being sick

So much as anno domini, if you will…”

– He got no reply – “… but I’m not really ill.”

“I’m afraid I’m not here

To take your call,” she said. “When you hear

The beep, leave your name

And number… ” “Are you there, Rosalind?”

He asked. “I’m still passing a lot of wind,

But my colon’s not to blame –

That’s the good news! But it’s not all

As good as that. Give me a call.”

She stared at her phone.

She was not good at living alone

But living with him would be worse.

It would, she thought, be like

Sharing her life with an old dog who could talk.

Oh, she was fond of him of course!

But he was old enough to be her dad,

And in the end, she knew, he’d drive her mad.

She made herself a cup of tea

And sat down to watch the news on TV.

Berlin Zoo’s polar bear Knut was one year old.

That’s the good news! But it’s not all

As good as that. Give me a call.”

Seize the initiative, try to be bold

For once, Rosalind! Don’t give way to the blues!

“Jack? Oh good, you’re there! So… give me the bad news.”