My Terrible Vocation

The sheer immensity of my relief

Was far beyond the scope of words alone.

When fear is gone the world is much too big

To be confined to poetry or song.

It takes time and endless vigilance to learn

That time will not give back the things we've lost

Or heal the open wounds their absence leaves.

Blood that fails to clot denies the past

Its proper destiny, and the heart that fails 

To memorise the life in full will feel the dread

Of vacancy deprive it of the right

To learn from its mistakes and mourn the dead.

"So this is your brown study!" The prison governor

Grinned all round my room. "Calamity

Is a word that ladies use." His favorite phrase,

He said, was teaching opportunity -

"And here's an opportunity to teach!

 You start tomorrow. There's nothing to prepare.

All wisdom emanates from suffering -

My motto is your theme and you will share

"Your anguish with a privileged elite

Of trustee lifers who'll appreciate

The epic grandeur of your sacrifice -

But don't expect them to reciprocate,

"Acknowledge or admit benign intent.

Weeping and bleeding are their secret shame.

Your missionary tears and fertile blood
Will make flowers bloom in deserts of wasted time."

Damage

Sporting a bandana which was set – as is de rigueur with these things – 

at a jaunty angle, Mr Green came into town and laid waste

to huge swathes of what was formerly 

Upper Cleveland Street.

This was considered an act of mercy.

Those who knew Mr Green

affected a knowing insouciance, and men with commerce

at the hub of their lives, merely reinvested

their interest elsewhere.

All was fine and dandy

until the people began to stir.

Reconciliation

We know our will is free, and there’s an end on’t.

   Samuel Johnson

People often ask why God,

Whose Omnipotence is clearly beyond dispute,

Doesn’t lift a finger to save the starving children 

In war-torn enclaves laid waste 

By imperialist sacrilege, or – to be

Even-handed – offer comfort to the world-wide

Victims of Marxist tyranny.

What these people forget is that even religion,

In deference to the Enlightenment, accommodates

Free Will, 

And so to frustrate the will of Man would be

Against Philosophy.