Sunday, August 7, 2011

That’s Not Quite All, Folks!



When I see that Sidney Greenstreet and Peter Lorre
Are in a movie, I'm never sorry;
And when I see Elisha Cook
Is in it too, I say, “I’ll have a look!”

None of these first-class character actors played the main part
Very often. It was usually left to Humphrey Bogart
To supply the grit and glamour. “Play it again, Sam,”
He’d mutter granularly—though he was an honest, cheerful ham

Like the others. You can see he’s having huge
Fun when Lorre appears covered in rouge,
With his hair pomaded and permed, in The Maltese Falcon,
And says his name’s Joel Cairo. He has lashings of gardenia and talc on,

And Bogey, with wry irony, says “Is that so?” and not long after,
Punches him in the face—he can barely conceal his laughter
As he does it. But there's another treat
In store: Kasper Gutman, played by Sidney Greenstreet!

“Look what you did to my shirt,” says Lorre’s Joel,
In a way that Sam Spade finds so droll
That he’s inclined to minister
To Cairo’s needs. Much more sinister

Is Greenstreet’s Gutman: “By Gad, sir, you are a character,”
Says this stout and entertaining racketeer.
“There’s never any telling what you’ll say or do next— ”
He continues, becoming dangerously vexed

When Bogey refuses his increasingly desperate offers
(Cool insolence instead is what he proffers):
“—except that it’s bound to be something astonishing.”
Gutman’s tone soon becomes grimly admonishing.

Elisha Cook, as always, gets knocked about a bit—
Needless to say, his character is a lout, a shit
(Cook specialised in weaselly dead-enders,
Although later, in real life, he was a friend of Wim Wenders).

I never really thought Mary Astor was worth dying for—
Nor did Bogey, who sussed her for a lying whore
Quite early on. He strung her along and even kissed her,
But turned her in happily and never missed her.

 As with so many films of this kind,
The plot’s hard to follow—Oh, it does wind
And twist! But it gives these first class actors employment,
And their performances give me a good deal of enjoyment.

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