All I want is a room somewhere

All I want is a room somewhere,

With air-conditioning so I don’t have to go bare,

A trouser-press and a mini-bar

And a disabled toilet that’s not too far.

We’ll spend our nights in a queen-sized bed,

I’ll read my Noddy – and she her Ned

And in the morning I’ll yawn with ease:

Could you find me such a room, please?

Try summadis, said Emily Dickinson,

My dad said, you have to drink the whole bottle before it’ll kick           in, son.

Woke up dis moanin in the New York Hilton,

Looking sadly at the shirt which the night had been spilt on.